Wisdom for grad students

February 19th, 2006

Think about your boss as a tumor: if he’s benign, he’ll just “be there”. But if it’s malign – you’ll have to get rid of it by applying chemo-therapy (poisoning his coffee) or surgery (baseball-bat).

Never try to discretely kiss management ass. Really pucker up, because the higher up you go, the less they notice it. If you want the CEO to notice you, and he’s the type that goes for sucking up, be prepared to offer your house, dog, car and daughter, because you’re going to need all the help you can get.

Rome didn’t get ahead by planning and cunning, it got ahead by killing it’s enemies. (Give them enough rope and then kick the chair out from under them. Clears space for advancement.)

A job is always easy if someone else is doing it.

‘Team’ is really a German acronym for ‘Toll, Ein Anderer Machts’ (Great, Somebody Else Will Do It For Me)

There is always harm in asking

The co-worker who sits around and doesn’t help solve problems but springs to his feet to ‘help’ when the boss comes around will soon be your boss.